who would have guess...

School Shootings Blamed on Ashlee Simspon's Latest Album

The world's greatest pop singer came under fire from parent groups on Wednesday after the Los Angeles Police Department announced that 4 out of 5 culprits in a recent school shooting massacre were avid members of the Ashlee Simpson fan club.

According to the report, "each boy told us that he felt outcasted by the 'popular' kids who listened to Marilyn Manson and Nine Inch Nails" and that, "listening to the grotesquely violent lyrics of fringe artists such as Ashlee Simpson gave them an outlet for their rage." One boy told police that he enjoyed skinning animals while listening to Ashlee Simpson's latest album, "Autobiography."

Buy Ashlee Simspon's Album "Autobiography" now for only $11.99 on Amazon.com

Upon the report's release, many parent groups spoke out to condemn Simpson's music. Parents United against Suicidal and Sociopath Youth is one such group that has long been protesting Simpson's lyrics. Pat Jones, president of PUSSY wrote on the website "...[Ashlee Simpson's] music incites listeners into violence. In 'Pieces of Me' Simpson commands listeners to use explosives to kill others. The song tells listeners it's their 'mission' to blow others into 'pieces'," citing lyrics from the song:

Make me happy it's your mission
And you won't stop til I'm there...
It seems like I can finally rest my [decapitated] head on something real
I like the way that feels...
All the pieces, pieces, pieces of me

Fellow artists too have come to speak out against Simpson. "This type of music is really inappropriate for children. The first Amendment was never meant to protect this sort of speech. It's just obscene." said pop-rocker Marilyn Manson.

Since the report, Virgin Records, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Tower Records have all pulled Simpson's latest album from their shelves.

In a related story, the fifth of the five school shooters allegedly told police that "Ashlee Simpson is a lip-sinking poser" and that "Hilary Duff is the real deal."

---------------------------

haha. i needed that. currently extremely stressed out over every freaking thing. i normally handle these situations a lot better, but this coming week is seriously hell. *shaking fist*

monday - work @ campbell
tuesday - calculus test + music test + band
wednesday - mcf
thursday - work @ pearson
friday - philosophy presentation + placement
saturday - movie + rest

okie that doesn't look like a uber heaving schedule, but think of all the prep work that goes in to it. gr... if i actually manage to survive this week, i can handle my wedding with ease... maybe... can't you see i am just randomly typing to waste time so i can procrasinate in doing my work... okie okie back to work i go...
*grumble*
*grumble*

later days.