fights

lately, lee and i have been fighting like crazy. constantly stepping on each others toes, bring up past wrongs, and just out right piss each other off.

i suppose that's what happen when the rose tinted glasses came off. the realities of a relationship sets in. then again, those glasses came off a long time ago. i quite honestly blame it on the fact that i am lacking in human contact recently. i am home most of the time, doing absolutely nothing, probably not speaking more than 50 words a day. (except when i have work)

yesterday night, after going to the mac concert. we had one of the biggest fights, i could remember. its strange, when we fight, there it not that much screaming, or cursing, or anything of those things you think you would expect from movies. we are civilize in the sense that we speak, while calculating the weight of our words, to attack the other person, or to defend ourselves. its almost like one of those duels of words in ancient china.

i actually lost last night's battle, i have to say, i didn't have that great of a chance in winning. considering i won the last one, and its result directly implies that i would lose the next one. talk about the ripple effect of the past to the present.

lee is the only person, who could argue with me, genuinely win in the sense that i actually apologize for my actions and try my best to change. i feel like a little kid on a leash. maybe this is what it means to be in love, to be in a relationship, to find a person that could actually have such an impact on you. damn you lee. why do i have to love you. you suck. o well life goes on, and hey he pays the bills so i guess we are even.

later days.