Poo

The Ghost Poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet
paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.

The Clean poo:
The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl,
but there's no poo on the toilet paper.

The Wet Poo:
You wipe your butt fifty times and it still feels unwiped.
So yo end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your
underwear so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid
marks.

The Wet Cheeks Poo:
That's the kind that comes out of your butt so fast that
your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water, or
splash-back.

The Second Wave Poo:
This poo happens when you think you've finished, your pants
are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to
poo some more.

The Brain Haemorrahage-through-your-nose Poo:
You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn
purple and practically have a stroke.

The Lincoln Log Log-
The kind of poo that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it
down without first breaking it up into little pieces with the
toilet brush.


The Power Dump Poo:
The kind that comes out so fast, you've barely got your
pants down and you're done.

The Liquid Plumber Poo:
This kind of poo is so big it plugs up the toilet and it
overflows all over the floor. You should have followed the
advice from the Lincoln Log Poo.

The Spinal Tap Poo:
The kind of poo that hurts so much coming out, you'd swear
it's got to be coming out sideways.

The 'I-think-I'm-turning-into-a-bunny' Poo:
When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like
marbles and make tiny splishy sounds when they hit the
water.

The 'What-the-hell-died-in-here' Poo:
Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. Of course you
don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odor. Instead,
you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they
run out gagging and gasping for air.

The 'I-just-know-there's-a-turd-still-dangling-there' Poo:
Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last
cling-on to drop.

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This is an attempt to make this blog funny, because I am in a rather crappy mood. Too many people is telling me that I have bad parent(s). Wow, thanks, I have lived with them for like 18 years already, no wonder I didn't turn out too great. My mom make life or specifically my life seems like such a waste. It is so discouraging, it seems like nothing I do is worth anything. Every dream I have ever had of me becoming somebody or doing something for others have been popped by her cruel, disheartening words. Even now, applying for university is like wasting my money, because she keeps telling me that I would never get accepted. Not once had she compliment me on something that I did well. She only came to one of my concerts, and that was in elementary school and on the way home she keep bitching about how bad it was, how shitty I looked, and whatever else she can bitch about. She never cared enough to come again. She only came for 1/2 hour or less of my grade 8 graduation, while others parents congratulated their sons/daughters on completing senior public school, I stood aside trying to be happy for everyone else. Why am I such a disappointment for my parents? Why did I do wrong? Why can I never be that perfect child that they want? Am I really that worthless? I don't want anyone trying to pity me, I don't need it. Thanks but no thanks. I just need to figure this out before it completely devours me.
Self Esteem - 0
Self Confidence - 0
Self Image - 0
At this point, I think nothing of myself. Just want to let go, completely just give myself to God, and let God figure this mess out for me. Perhaps, its best that way.

Lee - Thanks for trying to make me feel better about myslef, thanks for letting me watch ManHunt and look at that Icelandic guy *very model-esque*, (No... he is not my Icelandic boyfriend, you are my boyfriend, no one else.), and just letting complain and whine and bitch about hating myself. I am not worth you time, and your love. Yet you always try to make me happy regardless of all the odds against you and for that I just want to let you know that I love you with all of my heart. And without you I probably won't be able to tough it out through all those times. Thanks for the bottom of my heart.