long weekend

this past long weekend was reserved for my fellowship's retreat. since i was supposedly helping out with planning what food we are going to have, fion and i went on two consecutive days of shopping, on thursday and friday. i never thought in my whole life how tiring shopping can be. but by the end of thursday, i thought i could fall apart and collapse. on friday, after some final shopping trips, picking up things that we still need, fion and i picked up ada for lunch at kennedy and hwy 7. ada and i were super squished in fion car, because her car was packed with our stuff, and all the food that we'll be eating in the next four days. i was sitting in the passenger seat in the front, and i was right up against the front, and the windshield. i swear i have never been this close to a windshield in my life for two and a half hours. and ada was seating on half a seat holding onto and making sure food items are save in the back. it was one heck of a ride.

the retreat location was at shalom by the lake, a bit north of minden. we rented two cottages, but most of us just stuffed ourselves into one, and saved the other for the counsellors. it was so much fun being up north with my friends from fellowship. we had so much fun talking and sharing with each other, opening ourselves up, and be totally genuine with everyone. it was amazing, i could definitely see God's hands working among us. it was the best retreat i have ever been to, and one of the best experiences at shalom. i hope that i will continue to have these amazing experiences with my fellowship, and bring even more people to come and share this wonderful relationship with them.

fights

lately, lee and i have been fighting like crazy. constantly stepping on each others toes, bring up past wrongs, and just out right piss each other off.

i suppose that's what happen when the rose tinted glasses came off. the realities of a relationship sets in. then again, those glasses came off a long time ago. i quite honestly blame it on the fact that i am lacking in human contact recently. i am home most of the time, doing absolutely nothing, probably not speaking more than 50 words a day. (except when i have work)

yesterday night, after going to the mac concert. we had one of the biggest fights, i could remember. its strange, when we fight, there it not that much screaming, or cursing, or anything of those things you think you would expect from movies. we are civilize in the sense that we speak, while calculating the weight of our words, to attack the other person, or to defend ourselves. its almost like one of those duels of words in ancient china.

i actually lost last night's battle, i have to say, i didn't have that great of a chance in winning. considering i won the last one, and its result directly implies that i would lose the next one. talk about the ripple effect of the past to the present.

lee is the only person, who could argue with me, genuinely win in the sense that i actually apologize for my actions and try my best to change. i feel like a little kid on a leash. maybe this is what it means to be in love, to be in a relationship, to find a person that could actually have such an impact on you. damn you lee. why do i have to love you. you suck. o well life goes on, and hey he pays the bills so i guess we are even.

later days.